Holy rollercoaster, Batman. It's no mistake that I haven't posted in weeks. I've been under a lot of stress. Invisible, toxic stress that I'm rather finished with at this point. There is one person in my new sphere that doesn't get it. She's a bully and I haven't encountered one in a long time.I officially hit rock bottom, but as with drug addicts around the world, the rock bottom is where reality sets in. The fact that I have choices in life; in particular with my attitude, my approach. . . me, period. I'm going to need some new tools to get through this new phase, so I'll enlist some help and build up my arsenal.
I've just been protected from negativity for so long. Was able to surround myself with goodness with relative ease. The walls of the fortress were largely impenetrable and when someone did come knocking, they went away after too long.
Not now. There's one under my nose, fighting for my spirit. I can't look down or it's over. But I need to figure out how to stay focused on the path ahead. I didn't come equipped with that skill and now I have a lot of learning to do.
Friends, this will not be what defines me, this struggle between good and reasonable and somewhat evil and irrational. But it will test me and just as with anything it's up to me to pass the test or not. Either way, failure won't happen.
Day by day.
2 comments:
Someone is bullying you?! How dare she! I can remember the last time I felt bullied -- she was my nemesis for years. You will overcome and prevail, I am certain. But I feel for you. Hang in there and be the strong person that you are.
--Michelle
I'll hit a bitch she messes with my EmDee. Son of a...
Here's to your strong will, your determination, and the fact that undoubtedly you've gotta better peeps watchin' yo' back. Peeps with mafia connections, dig? ;)
I take my hat off to your classy demeanor.
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